so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
