Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
