No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
