Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
