she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
