Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I have aggressive nipples.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
