We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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