separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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