I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
