I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
