This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
