Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
