forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
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