She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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