Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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