Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
