just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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