Christians are straight up FREAKS
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
