We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
