The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
