I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
