I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
