everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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