how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
