"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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