is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Life is so much better after having sex.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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