Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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