the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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