I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
