Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
