I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
