Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just puked most of my soul out..
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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