if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
