i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize