He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
