I want to make a zoo with you.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
