you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
wow bdsm is so cute
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
