so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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