I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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