You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
