Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
