I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
