So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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