even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
