I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
