if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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