wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
