The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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