He is such a slut. More and more my type.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
