i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
only if we run a train.
done.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
