I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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