you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
