Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
