I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My ass is underappreciated
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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