Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
