How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
