it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
