by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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